So anyway, if you've read my blog posts you know that I've not been doing well lately, and to be honest a bit of depression has settled in again, as it always does whenever I eat processed foods repeatedly, but I am so thankful that now I have enough experience to know that whenever I feel that way, it is all just an illusion and that there is a way out, and that within a few days of eating living foods and taking care of myself I can feel fabulous again. My heart's dearest wish, though, is to feel that way ALL the time, and to not feel stressed about foods and eating. To be at peace and feel happy about when and what I eat, and to not feel the need to harm myself with food. To be happy and vibrant and live to the fullest of my human potential in this lifetime. That is my goal.
A couple things happened in the past few weeks worth mentioning. I was for a short time in an Eat to Live challenge group on Facebook and kept wishing and hoping that I could find a similar challenge group for raw, 30 days I thought would be perfect, just felt it was something I really needed, but I couldn't find one no matter how many groups I looked into, and eventually kind of gave up, or set aside my search anyway. Then I toyed with the idea of doing Jason Vale's 28 day Super Juice Me plan, but I don't really want to do it because I want something that I can do all the time, every day, for life as that is the only way I can make it work. Then, last week out of the blue, I saw a post in one of my raw food groups on Facebook by a beautiful woman named Cecilie who is doing a 30 day raw challenge and is doing posts on Youtube every day, and I was just in heaven when I found this! It is just so perfectly what I need right now! I just know it! I haven't been this excited about anything for a very long time, and that's when I know my heart is in it. I asked her if I could share her website, and she said yes, so here it is:
astoryoffreedom.net
and her Facebook page is: https://www.facebook.com/#!/storyoffreedom
and here is her Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Astoryoffreedom/featured
Anyway, I am thrilled that I found this, I've been watching her videos, and finding they really speak to me because her experience with her eating disorder and food is so much the same as mine, and her journey so similar, I find it so liberating to hear someone else saying the exact same things as what I've come to realize although I don't trust myself enough to go with what I know to be true, for some reason. It is really validating to me to see someone else saying the same things! And incredibly inspirational.
So here I am, setting a goal of all raw food for the next 30 days. It is ok if I eat cooked vegan food again in my life, and probably will here and there, but for the next 30 days, nothing cooked is my goal. I am just focusing on these 30 days and not thinking beyond that, otherwise it gets too overwhelming and it is not relevant right now anyway. All that matters is these 30 days. I am going to reach into myself and grab a hold of the focus, determination, and commitment that I have used in the past when I did my 35 day juice fast, and use it to power through. If I can do that, 30 days will change my life.
I am also setting a secondary goal: to meditate every day. Even if its only 5 minutes, I can do that, nothing wrong with that. I know it will help settle my anxiety and emotions that I habitually try to stuff away with food.
So, day 1 is almost over. My stomach has been hurting most of the day, from the junk I ate in the last week, and I know it's going to take a few days to feel well again. I am going to be patient with myself and get lots of sleep and just treat myself with love, and the good feelings will come.
I did 2 coffee enemas today as I felt my body was really struggling, and they helped a great deal. I'm still bloated but it'll go away in a few days. Today I had a big green juice, (parsley, asparagus, celery, carrot), and a big apple, pineapple, beet, carrot and ginger one. Also sprouted oats with my own almond milk, chia, cinnamon and banana. probably going to have some apples for a snack.
I am not going to buy the President's Choice almonds anymore though, these latest ones I realized are not completely raw, as they didn't sprout and I saw about a mm of translucent colour inside when I bit into one, and only the inner part swelled up white like it should if raw, so they are definitely partially pasteurized and I can't trust this brand to be all raw. So I will buy the other brand I found that ARE raw from now on.
I went grocery shopping and am so happy they finally got in some more cases of mangos, I bought one and they are definitely going to take a few days to ripen but they are beautiful and this time they are smaller and red, not like the big green ones I got last time which were absolutely out of this world, but I love the red ones also! Also got bananas and some organic Gala apples for a good price, so that was a lucky find. I'm just so excited for this 30 day journey. I could go on and on! goodness I better end this post before I just keep going lol :)
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