It was all so absurd and pointless, the reason for it. I am exactly aware of why I did it. I've been struggling to get over a cold, and it's not going away easily and I've been missing my workouts and feeling really sorry for myself. Added to that, I got a message on Facebook yesterday from a guy I dated a few times, several months ago, that I really wish I'd never hear from again, and it was stressing me out how to respond, and didn't want to be rude etc, so I tried to be polite, but I was getting upset because he keeps being so pushy and I just want him to leave me alone. On top of that I haven't heard from the guy I'm dating and that makes me sad because I love him and miss him. So I was feeling all this pain and turmoil in my heart and head, and instead of just letting myself feel it in my heart and move on through it, I turned to my old, ingrained habit of stuffing it down into my gut instead.
I think I will just try to visualize the pain all doing down through me and coming out with my poop and going away and laugh about it instead of allowing my beautiful self to be affected by it because I don't deserve that!
So today it's going to be juice baby juice :)
And here is a pretty picture because pretty things make me feel better:
I love how great you are at picking yourself up and making it positive rather than being down on yourself. I need to do that. Yesterday was my husbands birthday and after everyone went to bed I got up and ate his entire birthday cake. I felt so bad that I washed all the dishes and tried to hide that there was even a cake in the house come to find this morning that he never did get a piece of his own cake :( I feel so bad :(
ReplyDeleteI used to eat entire cakes along with a bag or two of chips and usually a lot of other stuff, every time I binged. I know exactly how you feel. Can you be kind to yourself today and have some juice? **hugs**
ReplyDeleteI will, thanks so much for the support!
ReplyDeleteGood girl! :) anytime! you are not alone!
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